Dear Toxic Social Media

Dear Social Media,

I just want to address your toxic side and I know that during COVID so many of us have been using you more. Alone in our houses, sometimes we can get caught up in that toxic side and drown in our feelings of insignificance or lack. It’s the side of you that carries a heaviness and a touch of ‘high school’ popularity contests.

No, it’s not all of you, just certain parts of you and that’s the part that drives us mad. It’s that part that tells me that if I’m not a big success than I am nothing. Well, I don’t buy into that. Your forced comparison seems highly suspicious. It sounds a lot like you are trying to pit us against each other and there is no community in that. There is no joy in that, only pain, comparison and resentment.

I have the advantage of being around before you were an integral part of our lives, so I know that our value runs deeper than what you are preaching.

You are in fact a liar.

A ‘like’ does not equal approval and a ‘follow’ doesn’t equal belonging. Neither does a re-tweet, wink, friend, swipe, share, pin and so on.  These are surface things and although they are nice, they are meaningless when we turn off our devices. I cannot bring any of them into my living room and share a meal. They may make us feel good, but they aren’t there to help us when we face a problem. Let’s just keep you and your madness in it’s proper place.

I will admit, you do bring some joy into my life, of course you do. I get to make connections, see, read and experience things that I never would have without you, but you are not my gauge for someone’s importance or influence. I’ll determine that on my own thanks. The friendships I have made online are because of the people, not because of stats on a screen.

Numbers don’t determine a person’s value and I think that’s where your lies are the most toxic. That is where you start to poison our minds. You tell us that numbers equal value and that numbers mean we count in this world. You try to tell us that only having high numbers means we matter.

I call you out and say nope, that’s not real, my worth is not found on a screen. I won’t buy into that and others don’t have to either. We can use Social Media without the toxic part and that’s what we’ll do.

So thanks for your ideas about being a ‘big hit’ or an ‘influencer’, but I’ll pass thanks.

Love Jess xxoo

PS – Dear Reader, sometimes we just need a reminder 🙂

An ordinary extraordinary life

I was thinking about the ‘sum’ of my life last night while my cat supervised me washing the dishes. Is there something extraordinary inside of me yet to be revealed or is it just a feeling left over from my youth days when we were constantly told we would do amazing things? Have I lived an extraordinary life? It certainly doesn’t feel like it. Do I really have something remarkable legacy to offer humankind in my future? Not that I can see.

P1070348Here’s a thought… perhaps my extraordinary, dazzling life is already present.

Perhaps it is in buying ethical products?

P1070354Perhaps it is in my heart every time I think and pray for those trapped in slavery?

Could it be in my desire to raise kids who don’t look to others to tell them who they are?

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Perhaps as I continue to live out my ordinary life I will be doing amazing things in secret. What a wonderful idea! A secret extraordinary life would probably suit me perfectly. Doing remarkable things doesn’t have to be loud and bright and seen by all as I thought in my teenaged years. I think of our Aussie farmers, working so hard to make ends meet and in my eyes they are quite frankly awe-inspiring.

I may never write a book or be known Nation-wide as the founder of a life-changing not-for-profit organisation, but I am ok with that. I will keep trying to do awesome things in secret, which at the moment mostly involves changing nappies and finishing the day without having a nervous breakdown. I amaze even myself sometimes 😉 and I am constantly delighted and inspired by most of the people I know. I guess it’s the everyday things that add up to make someone’s life significant.

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Love Jess xxoo